With back to school underway, it’s also a return to routine and structure that may take a little bit of adjusting to, especially for children who are new to the school setting and those with special needs. All kiddos thrive on structure, especially our kiddos with special abilities, so a change in routine, like returning to school, may cause an increase in behaviours. Here are some quick tips to help both you, and them, minimize these behaviours:
- Use a visual schedule! Preparing a child for what’s ahead can help minimize anxiety and reduce associated behaviours. Schedules can be used regardless of your child’s age or stage, so they’re a great resource! Use anything from simple pictures, to written words, depending on your child’s level of understanding.
- Give lots of processing time and space! Start your routines earlier to work around any possible delays that increase your stress & the stress of your child. Children require short and simple instructions. Provide your child with an expectation and allow them time to process. Consider all the background distractions when giving your kiddo instructions. Barking dogs, appliances, and excited siblings all can be overwhelming, and your child may not understand the task because of the distractions.
- Use “first/then” language. No one likes to do a chore or a task, so providing a reward will help your child learn to do what’s expected! Choose something your child likes to do (e.x. Ipad time, going for a walk, playing with a toy) or let them choose their activity, if they can. Then, give them a specific expectation (such as, “first, put your backpack away and then you can have your Ipad”).
Remember to use short, simple language when outlining an instruction and allow processing time. Pictures are also a great way to show a non-verbal child what’s expected!
TIPS FOR MOM, DADS & CAREGIVERS
- Prep as much as you can the night before school. Teach your kids this skill as well.
- Limit choices to avoid potential emotional dysregulation if having to say no. Choose 2 outfits you are comfortable saying yes to. Lay them out and ask them which outfit of the 2 they want to wear. The same goes for snacks, don’t open the cupboard and ask them what they want.
- Pick your battles, put the coat in the backpack if they don’t want to wear it. They will put it on if they are cold, even if they are little. It’s not worth the emotional breakdown for either of you.
- If your kiddo has separation anxiety, grab a lanyard with a plastic ID card and put your picture in it, then you are always with them. They can wear it to school and work towards not needing it by gradually keeping it in their pocket, then their backpack.
- If their big reactions are triggering you, give yourself space, regroup and start back on the task. Don’t try and negotiate during this time, trust me it will backfire.
- Show yourself some grace! You’re going to lose your S$%@ every once in a while, that’s normal and doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. At some point acknowledge you lost your cool, apologize and move on. Everyone gets upset, how we handle it later makes the difference.